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Home>>Articles >>J.Panchapagesan Articles >>Anger Manegement

1. RAM is angry when just in the middle of his shaving the current failed causing his electric razor cease functioning and also the flow of water at the basin stopped.

2. KRISHNA is furious that the traffic jam is causing him anxiety to reach the airport before his flight takes off.

3. SUSHMITHA is visibly annoyed that her maid servant is not reporting for her duty for more than half hour.

4. The public are raging with anger that the food packets have been strewn over stretch of dirty water from the helicopter for the flood torn BIHAR.

5. Seven year old SANGEETHA is angry with her mother for seeing the serials in the TV preventing her to see POGO.

6. Mr. PANCHANATHAM cannot tolerate the frequent disturbances in the internet even while he is merrily gliding through various web sites.

7. 14 year old PRAVEEN is disturbed that his TABLE TENNIS coach is irregular for practice.

8. Even an infant is toppling the milk bottle with frustration as its mother forgot to add sugar.

We can go on quoting endless cases of anger, annoyance, rage, irritation, frustration etc experienced by the human folk globally relating to all ages, status in the society on every day basis. There is absolutely no exception even for a single individual whether alive or even dead. The frequency of anger/irritation/annoyance/rage and even the degree of its nature may vary from one individual to another, but the fact remains that it happens at some point of their life. At the best it could be concealed with lot of effort, with the adverse happenings of their precious health. If somebody really claims to have not experienced this natural emotion either he must be lying or not knowing its true meaning. Even the so-called sanyasis, religious leaders and RISHIS have expressed it and also reacted violently by cursing or causing damages to the source of occurrence. Hence we all know what anger is, and we have all felt it whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full fledged rage. Psychologists claim that anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion –just like any other human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to various problems at your work place, spoil healthy relationships between friends and relatives and also affect the overall quality of one’s life. ANGER is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury of RAGE”-according to CHARLES SPEILBERGER, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Our angers are of different types in the sense that for some of them we cannot visibly exhibit but digest with lot of effort. Anger with our boss or people of power and wealth cannot be demonstrated except with peril of your job, or suffering by humiliation, position or money. Many times an average individual stores up all his anger and aversion for his employer until that fateful day when he gets some better job and releases all his venom and vengeance to the glee of his colleagues who for the time remain quiet and wait for their own chance. But such digested angers are only temporarily solved and waiting for a sitting duck in the form of their wife, children or other helpless targets. The family members are also accustomed to the out burst of the bread winner and don’t take it seriously as they are aware that at the working place some distasteful thing might have happened. But nowadays one cannot afford to slap even a cleaning boy for spilling tea on his costly suit as the whole mechanism of the office may be paralyzed and the well dressed gentleman may also be forced to tender apology. There is always visible physical reaction at the time of anger that again varies with individual. The eyes become read, body trembles and also the teeth are chattering. The blood pressure shots up temporarily and you feel like hurting the opponent either with words or even physically. It is not unusual that when we are charged with rage we throw the files to the subordinates at the working place or hurl anything from vessels to remote control to the helpless family members at our house. Some times very vulgar or unparliamentary dialogues are also used against hapless victims that used to have telling effect in damaging years of good relationships. There are also extreme cases of causing serious injuries or even murder to the unfortunate human being. It is the involuntary action of human specimen to react to a biting mosquito or to a trouble creator with full force of vengeance with out hesitation or pondering over the consequences. But we have also to appreciate that it is the instinctive natural way to respond to anger rather aggressively. It is rather advisable to exhibit certain degree of anger in certain compulsive situations for our survival lest we might not be taken for a ride. Even if your cool temperament does not warrant anger it is ideal at least to pretend you are possessed with this trait for that moment. Though we love our children, at some circumstances when they do some wrong acts we pretend to be angry only to deter them from doing unwanted things. The most unfortunate thing is to repent for what damages or destruction you had done consequent of your rage and many a time our self prestige comes in the way of mending the fences. There are plenty of cases where the humanity had lost irrevocably wealth, honor, friendship, love and even kingdom. The great Tamil sage by name THIRUVALLUVAR in his famous couplet THIRUKKURAL is advising not to ventilate your anger by using harsh words and reap the bad effects in the following lines.

THE BLISTER BURNT IN BY THE FIRE WILL ONE DAY HEAL INSIDE.

THE SCAR OF WOUND BURNT IN BY TONGUE WILL HEAL NOT BUT WILL BIDE.

Lashing out anger is not possible to every person or object that irritates or annoys. Law and social norms and commonsense place limits on how far our anger can take us. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive not aggressive manner is the healthiest. Suppressing anger altogether may lead to hypertension and other serious health problems. To some extent the negative emotion of anger is also acquired genetically. These are a few tips which may help to control-minimize-digest our anger.

Never getting angry is just not possible.
Every one feels their anger is justified when they are actually angry.
Every moment of anger is one less moment of happiness.
Count up to number 10 or even more when your anger starts subsiding and reasoning takes its place.
Talk to a friend you can trust.
Do some exercise or mild jogging.
Sing along with stereo
Give or get hug.
Entertain good thoughts, visit place of worship.
Defuse it by cutting jokes related to the issue.
Always logic defeats anger
Lastly but not leastly take a deep breath and try to relax your muscles.
Try a few yoga poses.
Drink a glass of water.

If your target is your boss or of much higher status in physical and political strength draw his imaginary figure over a pillow like object and go on punching it until you are tired or mentally satisfied! Just at the time of finishing this article the current has failed and all my advises have become useless and I am terribly angry with the ELECTRICIY BOARD.

BY J.PANCHAPAGESAN FLAT-11,130 GILL NAGAR EXTN STREET CHOOLAIMEDU CHENNAI PH-044 23744963 EMAIL id- jpanchapagesan@yahoo.co.in

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